Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.


Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.


Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe
the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.


Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ....


Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin ?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush
hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments whenthey are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

Thank you to all the authors, photographers, email passers-on, and clueless rednecks who unknowingly contributed to this collection of emails and photos.

If you authored or photographed anything in this collection, or appeared in any photos shared here, please let us know and we will gladly give you full credit for your work. If you would like us to remove your work/photo(s) please let us know, and they will be forever removed from this site as soon as we receive your request. Either way, please allow us a few days to make changes, as we access this site only a few times a week.

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map