Ole & Lena

Lena is pregnant with Ole's child. Late one night, Lena vakes Ole and
says,
'I tink it's time!'
So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor and took her to the hospital to
have their first baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Ole and said,
'A son! Ain't dat great!'

Well, Ole got excited by dis, but yust den the doctor spoke up and said,

'Hold on! We ain't finished yet!'
The doctor den held up a little girl. He said,
'Hey, Ole! You got you a daughter!' She's a pretty little ting, too.'

Ole got kind of puzzled by this, an then the doctor said,
'Holey Moley, Ole we still ain't done yet!'
The doctor then delivered another boy and said,
'Ole, you yust had yourself another boy!'
Ole was flabbergasted by this news!

A couple days later, Ole brought Lena and their three children home in
the self-propelled combine.
He was real serious and he asked Lena,
'How come we got tree on the first try?'
Lena said, 'You remember dat night we ran out of Vaseline and you vent
out in the garage and got dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?'
Ole said, 'Yeah, I do. Uffda! It's a dam good ting I didn't get the
WD-40.'

Ole in Paris

Letz try zeez von.
--Donna K

Ole in Paris

Ole, a furniture dealer from Brainerd, MN, wanted to expand the line of
furniture in his store, so he went to Paris to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected
a line that he thought would sell well back home.

To celebrate the new acquisition he visited a small bistro to have a
glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small
place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the
only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table and
asked him something in French which Ole couldn't understand, so he
motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to
speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a
couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin
and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so
he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin
and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They
left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group
playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took
another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and
they got up to dance.

They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of
a four-poster bed.

To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture
business.

COUNSELING - MINNESOTA STYLE

COUNSELING - MINNESOTA STYLE

Ole and Sven are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking
beer when suddenly Sven says,
"I think I'm gonna divorce my wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2
months."

Ole spits, sips his beer and says,
"Better think it over...
........women like that are hard to find."

Lutefisk

My mom sent me the lyrics to this old Christmas favorite.
Her comment, above the lyrics were "Enjoy!"
I'm not sure if she was referring to the lyrics or the subject matter...
-Pam

PS: Be sure to sing it out loud, off key, nearly drunk, and vit yer best
Norveegan accent, ja der hey.
________________________________

Sung to the tune of O Tannunbaum

Lutefisk... 0 Lutefisk... how fragrant your aroma
0 Lutefisk... 0 Lutefisk... You put me, in a coma
You smell so strong... You look like glue
You taste yust like an overshoe
but Lutefisk ... come Saturday
I tink I'll eat you anyway.

Lutefisk ... 0 Lutefisk ... I put you by the doorway
I vanted you to ripen up ... yust like dey do in Norway
A dog came by and sprinkled you ... I hit him vit an army shoe
0 Lutefisk ... now I suppose
I'll eat you as I hold my nose.

Lutefisk ... 0 Lutefisk ... how well I do remember
On Christmas Eve how we'd receive ... our big treat of December
It vasn't turkey or fried ham ... it vasn't even pickled spam
My mudder knew dere vas no risk ...
In serving buttered lutefisk.

Lutefisk ... 0 Lutefisk ... now everyone discovers
Dat Lutefisk and lefse makes-Norweigians better lovers
Now all da vorld can have a ball ... you're better dan dat Yeritol
0 Lutefisk ... vit brennevin
You make me feel like Errol Flynn.