Because it is full of dates!
Why do fruitcakes make ideal gifts?
Because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them.
Pam is weird. Since weird just seems to attract more weird, her email inbox is always stuffed with the weirdest of the weird. After she deletes the prayers and angels this is what's left. At some point we knew it would spill out and infect society. We sincerely apologize for spreading the infection to you.
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