Tuesday, November 11, 2008

smile awhile

Pam's note: OMG! Way back in the day (ok, it was 1998) when we got our
first computer and were hooked up to <strike>A-Oh-He11</strike> I mean
AOL (same thing) this was one of the first emails I received. I thought
it was so funny I printed it out and showed it to everyone at work and
we constantly laughed about it.

I'm not surprised it survived this long and eventually circulated back
to me again, ten years later. (More proof that you should not post
compromising photos of yourself online. Ever.)
Enjoy!
I hope you giggle at these until coffee comes out your nose - like what
happened to me ten years ago and again this afternoon...
----------------------------------


You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.


2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way.


3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?

They Take The Psycho Path.


4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

You Boil The Hell Out Of It .


5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

Dam!


6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

Polaroid's


7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?

A Stick.


8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

Nacho Cheese.


9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.


10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?

Quattro Sinko.


11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?

Spoiled Milk.


12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

Frostbite.


13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.


14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?

Anyone Can Roast Beef.


15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?

Right Where You Left Him.


16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?

Because They Have Big Fingers .


17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares The Dog.


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley and a Hoover ?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.


20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?

Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.


21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!

A Bad Skydiver Goes, Dang! Whack .


22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?

Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer


Now, admit it.
At least one of these made you smile.

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

Thank you to all the authors, photographers, email passers-on, and clueless rednecks who unknowingly contributed to this collection of emails and photos.

If you authored or photographed anything in this collection, or appeared in any photos shared here, please let us know and we will gladly give you full credit for your work. If you would like us to remove your work/photo(s) please let us know, and they will be forever removed from this site as soon as we receive your request. Either way, please allow us a few days to make changes, as we access this site only a few times a week.

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