Friday, December 5, 2008

Idiots All Over The Place . . .

IDIOT SIGHTING:

REPAIRMAN: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman
told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had
the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his
head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2
was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

McDonalds: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out
window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also
handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,
'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She
sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I
did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but
they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give
me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


TACO BELL: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. From Kansas City

DEER CROSSING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many
deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good
place for them to be crossing anymore.'

AIRPORT: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

STREET LIGHTS: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals blind people when the light is green.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

FAREWELL LUNCHEON. At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented
cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another
word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

WIRING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no
less.

UNLOCKED. When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I
already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT! They walk and drive among us... And the scary part is that
they VOTE and they REPRODUCE

Keep the fun going! Add your own and pass it on!!

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

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