Monday, September 29, 2008

Children's Science Exam

>
>
>
>
> If you need a good laugh, try reading through these
> children's science exam answers...
>
> Q: Name the four seasons.
> A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
> Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
> safe to drink.
> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
> large polluta nts like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
>
> Q: How is dew formed?
> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
> perspire.
>
> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love
> this!)
> A: Keep it in the cow.
>
> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
> All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is
> no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget
> where the sun joins in this fight.
>
> Q: What are steroids?
> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
> Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> intercontinental
>
> Q: What happen s to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> adultery.
>
> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> A: Premature death.
>
> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g.,
> abdomen)
> A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium,
> the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains
> the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the
> abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
>
>
> Q: What is the fibula?
> A: A small lie.
>
> Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
> A: Nearby.
>
> Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian
> Section.'
> A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
>
> Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

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