Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that
morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and probably would have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy
birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left
for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning,
Boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better that someone had

I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to
lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day."Let's
go!" We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private
little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a
beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and
dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there ----

on the couch ----


before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.


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