Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that
morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and probably would have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy
birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will
remember.

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left
for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning,
Boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better that someone had
remembered.

I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to
lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day."Let's
go!" We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private
little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a
beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and
dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there ----

on the couch ----

naked.