Friday, January 25, 2008

I have a Question

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that
mean that one out of five enjoys it?


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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they
just stale bread to begin with?
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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

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If it's true that we are here to help others, th en what
exactly are the others here for?

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry
cleaners depressed?

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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed
UP? ?

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Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?"

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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of
bald men?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny
little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use.
Toothpicks?

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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just
put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for
them while they deliver the mail?

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Is it true that you never really learn to swear until
you learn to drive?

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If a co w laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS"?

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

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