Friday, January 25, 2008

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to
Heaven.

He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to
see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though,
that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an
entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to
pass it before you can get into Heaven.'


Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St.
Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure
hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test

as it was.'


St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test
is only three questions.

First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?'


Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns
the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that
you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your
answers.'


Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days
in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That
would be Today and Tomorrow.'


The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest,
that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I
did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about
the next one?' asked St. Peter. 'How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk
and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'


Astounded, St. Peter said, Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how
in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'


Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '


'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are
going with this, and I see your point,

though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I
will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the
third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'?


'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'


'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St.
Peter. 'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my
first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the
name Andy as the first name of God?'


'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest
replied. 'I learnt it from the song, 'ANDY

WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM
HIS OWN...'


St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run
Forrest, run.'

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

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