Saturday, September 19, 2009

Oregon

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a two layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon

If you know both seasons: the rainy season and July 12, you live in Oregon http://www.salemhistory.net/natural_history/july_12.htm

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Oregon

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain... you live in Oregon

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Abiqua, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima, Netarts, Nehalem, Albany, and Willamette, you live in Oregon

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon

If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, and Thai food, you live in Oregon

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Oregon

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your OREGON friends, you live or have lived in Oregon

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

Thank you to all the authors, photographers, email passers-on, and clueless rednecks who unknowingly contributed to this collection of emails and photos.

If you authored or photographed anything in this collection, or appeared in any photos shared here, please let us know and we will gladly give you full credit for your work. If you would like us to remove your work/photo(s) please let us know, and they will be forever removed from this site as soon as we receive your request. Either way, please allow us a few days to make changes, as we access this site only a few times a week.

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