Saturday, July 11, 2009

For Those Who Thought They Knew Everything...

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
(That women are going the 'right' direction?)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.

Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!

The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne articles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)


And the best for last....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(I Know Some People Like That, Don't YOU?)

So . . .

Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on...& go move your toothbrush!

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

Thank you to all the authors, photographers, email passers-on, and clueless rednecks who unknowingly contributed to this collection of emails and photos.

If you authored or photographed anything in this collection, or appeared in any photos shared here, please let us know and we will gladly give you full credit for your work. If you would like us to remove your work/photo(s) please let us know, and they will be forever removed from this site as soon as we receive your request. Either way, please allow us a few days to make changes, as we access this site only a few times a week.

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map