Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My Dad started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 94 years old ...and we don't know where he is.


I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.


The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.


I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.


I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.


I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.


If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.


We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

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