Thursday, April 30, 2009

Who's yo Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details;' or putting it another way.... Who's yo Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms!

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. That would be the daddy.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I think that my son's conception was ejaculate stuff on a tawl and that he is an axident.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cat aclysmic implications for his wife. I am torn between doing right by you and right by him. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Lairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue.
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; it really was in the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave., mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

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