Tuesday, February 3, 2009

...when Hallmark writers are having a bad day...

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad
day........

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My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


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Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.


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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"


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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.


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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


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I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.


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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!


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When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.


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So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay


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before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

Thank you to all the authors, photographers, email passers-on, and clueless rednecks who unknowingly contributed to this collection of emails and photos.

If you authored or photographed anything in this collection, or appeared in any photos shared here, please let us know and we will gladly give you full credit for your work. If you would like us to remove your work/photo(s) please let us know, and they will be forever removed from this site as soon as we receive your request. Either way, please allow us a few days to make changes, as we access this site only a few times a week.

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