Man vs. Woman

EATING OUT
* When the Bill arrives, Paul, Barry and Bruce will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's
on sale.

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
HOW TRUE!!!
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she
does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail..
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!

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