Southern Home Security System

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's work boots, used,
size 14-16. $2.00
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
Magazine. Magazine - $3.00
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. $5.00
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim: I went for more shotgun shells and to
pick my check up from the slaughterhouse. I should be back in an hour..
Don't mess with the Pit Bulls--don't know what got into them, but they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house..

Better wait out here on the porch.


before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.


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