to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up
eating it, anyway!
Martha: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
Maxine: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up
to a year.
Martha: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
outside of the cake.
Maxine: Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
Martha: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
Maxine: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad.
Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat
it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'
Martha: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator
and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine: Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
whites over the crust, so I don't.
Martha: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your
pains go away!
Martha: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing
gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!
Maxine: Lastly, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within
the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will
fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?