BLONDES

> >
> BLONDE LOGIC
> Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one
> blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...
> Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo,
> can you see Florida ?????"
>
> CAR TROUBLE
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic
> it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
> She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
carburetor"
> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
> nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you
> guys
> would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and
> then today you expect me to show it to you!"
>
> RIVER WALK
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
> another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I

> get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down
> the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>
> AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
> her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor,
> "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder
and
> screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
> pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
> screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said,
> "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm
> actually
> a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
>
> KNITTING
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
the
> wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
> lights
> and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn
> and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
> Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were
> the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be
the
> first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
> and
> shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
> up!" said
> the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
> We're
> going at night!"
>
> IN A VACUUM
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
> rolled the dice
> and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
> vacuum
> and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time
> and then
> asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
> dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
> saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend
> said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
> "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
>
>

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