Monday, June 9, 2008

BLONDES

> >
> BLONDE LOGIC
> Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one
> blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...
> Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo,
> can you see Florida ?????"
>
> CAR TROUBLE
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic
> it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
> She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
carburetor"
> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
> nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you
> guys
> would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and
> then today you expect me to show it to you!"
>
> RIVER WALK
> There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
> another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I

> get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down
> the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>
> AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
> her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor,
> "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder
and
> screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
> pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
> screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said,
> "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm
> actually
> a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
>
> KNITTING
> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
the
> wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
> lights
> and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn
> and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
> Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were
> the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be
the
> first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
> and
> shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
> up!" said
> the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
> We're
> going at night!"
>
> IN A VACUUM
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
> rolled the dice
> and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
> vacuum
> and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time
> and then
> asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
> dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
> saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend
> said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
> "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
>
>

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If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

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