Saturday, April 12, 2008

Ponderisms for Saturday

Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for
your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

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