Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS

Furthermore...

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a

"BREASTED AMERICAN."

 

2.She is not "EASY" - She is

"HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

 

3.She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED

DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION  SUPERHIGHWAY."

 

4.She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a

"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

 

5.She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY

REPETITIVE."

 

6.She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a

"LOW COST PROVIDER."

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

1.He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a

"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

 

2.He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is

"OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

 

3.He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He

"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

 

4.He is not "BALDING" - He is in

"FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

 

5.He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

 

6.It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."