Saturday, December 1, 2007

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

'1'
Blaming your farts on me.... Not funny... not funny at all !!!

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'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

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'3'
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

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'4'
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

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'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

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'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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'7'
Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",
then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

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'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

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'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

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'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

before you send hate mail

If something in this blog offends you, please accept my apologies, then keep it to yourself. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself and the world around me. My mission on earth, this lifetime, is to point out all of these funnies to you.

If you think this blog is funny, congratulations and thank you. My job here is done.

If, after reading this, you are still offended by anything in this blog, take two jokes by Carlos Mencia and see me in the morning.

thanks

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